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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. Never mess up an apology with an excuse. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. No one is listening until you make a mistake. Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW! Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check? On the other hand, you have different fingers. Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow. Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Remember half the people you know are below average. Save the whales. Collect the whole set Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date! Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. |