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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Chocolate: the OTHER major food group. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass? Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy. Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? Death is hereditary. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? Did anyone see my lost carrier? Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. Double your drive space. Delete Windows! Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue. |